


Santa, tell me if he really cares

by hlftanna



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys Kissing, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Firm AU, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Secret Santa, the focus is not on the panic though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:02:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21979267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hlftanna/pseuds/hlftanna
Summary: Taking a nervous breath, Harry stepped to the box and pulled out the last remaining piece of paper.He held it in his hands for a second, now a little scared of what he would find.He knew his behaviour was ridiculous. It was just a stupid Secret Santa, but in the end, gossip would still be gossip and judgement would still be judgement in this house and Harry hated all of it.Knowing he had to read the name eventually, he just pulled the trigger and opened the folded piece of paper.And what he read was so much worse than Ted Barker.So, so, so much worse.His whole face paled and he stopped breathing for several seconds while reading the name again and again.“Who’d you get?”“Louis Tomlinson.”Or a Secret Santa AU, in which Harry hates his job and is in love, Christmas is his favourite time of the year and maybe this year Santa has a big surprise in store for him.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 30
Kudos: 166





	Santa, tell me if he really cares

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiii! 
> 
> Long time no see, but I am finally back with a finished product. Took me at least 45 tries, but I got here in the end.  
> This one is Christmas inspired and I am very sorry I haven't been able to finish it before the actual holidays, but work, travelling and family stuff has kept me so busy, I could only write between doing a thousand other things. 
> 
> Maybe some of you, still love the warm cosy feeling of Christmas even after the actual day and can enjoy this lil thing. Or maybe you can ignore it and come for the fluff :) 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy.  
> I'm quite proud of it, especially since I was planning for about 5k and now we are here with 18k and this is by far the longest thing I have posted. 
> 
> If you're reading this, thank you, I adore you♥
> 
> ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
> 
> Trigger warning for a character dealing with light anxiety and mentions of an anxiety attack.  
> If you're triggered by this, please make sure you are safe and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.  
> The description is not too graphic, I just wanted to put it out here for anyone to know that it's in the story.
> 
> ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
> 
> I don't own the public characters in this work. 
> 
> This work is un-betaed. So, the stories and all mistakes are mine. :)
> 
> Title is taken from 'Santa Tell Me' by Ariana Grande.

_Monday, 2 nd of December 2019_

Harry was late.

Harry was _late late late._

_Fuck._

He was trying to look at his watch while simultaneously run through the mass of people that crowded the streets of London. Of course, this did not bloody work. Who was he kidding, he was Harry Styles, also known as the world’s clumsiest idiot. That’s how he found himself running right into the chest of someone very tall and very broad plus the nice little side effect of throwing the someone’s coffee all over both of them. With a silent shriek Harry looked from the now empty coffee cup, rolling on the floor, up into the face of a man who could easily take him out and no one would ever find his body. According to the stranger’s face this was also absolutely in the card’s for Harry right this second.

_Oh, don’t you just love Mondays…_

“Are you fucking kidding me ???”, the man yelled angrily which made Harry cower in on himself. Why must this always happen to him ??? Why why why?

“Uh- uhm,,, I’m so so sorry, I wasn’t looking –”

“You sure as hell weren’t! Look what you did to my shirt you moron!”

Harry gulped silently, getting slightly scared of the man’s tone, “I – I, I’m very sorry, sir. I will p-pay for the dry-cleaning – “

“Oh, you definitely will!”, the man interrupted Harry again.

“I – yeah. Just, just give me your bank details, or or paypal if that works better for you and I will transfer the costs,” Harry mumbled, completely mortified on how many people must watch him getting scolded by a stranger.

_I fucking hate Mondays…_

With another huff, the man thrusted a business card into Harry’s hands and looked him straight into the eyes, “The money better be on my bank account this afternoon”, before turning around and walking away.

Harry sighed to himself and closed his eyes for a second willing the oncoming tears back. _You will not bloody cry right now you fool._ He was standing there for a few more minutes, trying not to panic since he still had to go to bloody work for the next nine hours…

…speaking of work, Harry’s eyes popped open with a start and he realised he was definitely _too late_ now… shit shit shit.

Right this second his phone pinged in the pocket of his slacks and with shaky fingers he grabbed the device. On the display was a text from Niall, his best friend, but also department manager aka something like his boss.

**Ni** **😊** **[9:17am]:**

_H ? Where are you? Is everything okay? Getting worried over here…are you sick? Let me know what’s wrong, the big boss is about to do the rounds!_

Harry for real had to suppress the anxious tears now. Telling Niall, he would be late was one thing and his best friend did literally not care because they were living in each other’s pockets for 15 years now, but TODAY of all days, Harry had to be fucking late. Today was the big boss’ monthly round through all departments of the firm and he was a man who focused on punctuality, order and hierarchy in is firm. And if one didn’t follow his rules, they would be on his _list_ and really no one wanted to be there. Fucking things up with the big boss was a sound way to ruin your own career, and Harry was just about to do that.

He should be sitting in his office right this second, working on his statistics of the last three months, getting everything ready for the financial statements to wrap up the year, all while Mister Cowell was checking up on all his minions and whether they are doing their job right and making him even richer. But no, he was certainly not doing that but rather staring at his phone and seeing the minutes tick by which made him even more late. Fucking hell, Harry was so tired of his life.

Picking back up his run, he tried to make the rest of the way without any incidences. He didn’t stop at crosswalks or watched out for cars, trying to save any second he could to make up some lost time. He was supposed to be at work at 8:50 to give him 10 minutes to get settled and get ready to start at 9 sharp. This was his routine he lived and breathed his routines. He had one for everything, but today of all days they failed him.

It all started with his alarm clock not going off which made him wake up an hour late. An hour late meant for Harry still getting up at 6:30. But he needed his time in the morning to wake up and get ready for another day of trying to not embarrass himself or panic. He usually got up at 5:30am, went on a short 45 minute run, got in at 6:15am, prepared his coffee machine, took a shower and styled his hair (which he really needed to do since his locks were just the fluffiest und unruliest mess the world had ever seen).

After forming his hair into somewhat of a clean and organised style, he went and put on his clothes. His clothes for work were another thing Harry was meticulous about. He was working as an accountant in one of the biggest firms in the UK and he took pride in this. Therefore, his outfits had to look smart, but he also could never dream of looking like his colleagues all sharp and smart in their expensive suits and leather brogues. No, he didn’t even fancy to look like that since he would just make a fool out of himself with a look that really wasn’t him.

Harry rather chose to wear one of his many pairs of slacks, a simple button-up shirt and either one of his cardigans or beloved sweater vests to make himself feel cozy in his always freezing cold office.

After getting dressed, it was usually around 7am which still gave him enough time to feed his cat Daisy, play with her for a few minutes and enjoy his coffee. He also was able to just scroll through his tumblr feed quickly, which consisted of photography blogs, nail art, baking ideas and a few artists that were signed under his firm. Having an organised and relaxed morning like this, led him to leave the house calm and ready to face the gruel world of music business and crowds outside his flat at 7:45am which gave him over an hour to get to work even in the horrible London traffic. Since he didn’t have a car, the tube was his go-to even though he hated nothing more than public transportation.

But none of this happened today, which already stressed Harry to no end and he just knew when he looked at his alarm clock first thing this morning that this day would suck. Since his alarm clock didn’t go off today, he only woke up at 7:58am with the biggest heart attack of his life. Waking up this late, didn’t gave him any time to go running (which was the most important part to work off some of the nervous pressure in lungs), he could only shower quickly but with no chance to even think about styling his hair and he had to throw on the next best thing he grabbed out of his closet. Harry didn’t even _look_ into the mirror which under normal circumstances would never happen. He needed to at least get his hair in check, but well. Rushing through his morning routine and missing 90% of it, still resulted in him leaving the house at 8:23am which was half an hour to late to even think about being on time. And then the tube was delayed, of course, of fucking course. Harry was a nervous mess by the time he stepped out of the tube in central London which leads us to the incident that happened 5 minutes ago.

To say this Monday was a fail would be the understatement of the century. But being now even more late and soaked in a stranger’s coffee was the cherry on top. Rushing around the next corner, he finally saw the Sony UK Headquarters, also known as his workplace of the last 4 years (maybe not much longer if his boss is in a foul mood – lovely). He could feel his phone vibrate in his pocket again, but he didn’t even dare to look at it, too afraid what Niall might say now.

When Harry finally stepped through the huge, glass doors of the main building, he tried and get his breath under control, to at least look like he got it together. Hah, funny.

The 26-year old didn’t make eye contact with anybody. This was nothing unusual since he rarely made any type of contact with his suit-wearing, expensive looking colleagues. He was just a measly accountant, what can he say. But honestly, he didn’t even care. Most of these people were money driven leeches and if Niall didn’t beg him to stay like 6.8 times a week, he would have left this place a long time ago.

Niall really owed him. Also, Harry was just too nice for his own good. Anyways. Back to rushing to his office.

When he stepped out the elevator on the 17th floor, he was met with an eerily silence, only the rounds day could bring. Under normal circumstances, his department was bustling and rustling with papers, keyboard clicks and phone calls but whenever Mr Cowell did his rounds, no one dared to breathe in case they would annoy him and bring their focus on them.

Harry choked on his breathe, feeling his anxiety levels steadily rise. Oh, this was not good. This was _so not good_.

Everyone was so focused on their work they didn’t even notice Harry slipping by and he was more than glad for this. He really didn’t need any pitying looks by his co-workers right now. Upon entering his office, he was met with the usual view of his neatly organised desk in front of the large window that was showing a part of the London business world. He usually found this view quite calming but today it just let him sigh deeply. He was not ready for the trainwreck that was coming his way with lightning speed.

Closing his door quietly, he hung up his jacket having forgotten his scarf in a hurry this morning which would result definitely result in a sore throat (and not the pleasing kind), walked over to his desk and was just about to grab his phone to see what Niall texted when his door opened without a knock.

Harry’s eyes snapped up at the sound and immediately felt dread rising in his body, making it hard to breathe or swallow. In the entry to Harry’s office stood an extremely unimpressed, tight-lipped Simon Cowell. And if you know this man, indifference and tight lips were never a good fucking sign. Usually he just looked mean and arrogant and treated you like he was the king of the world and you just a measly peasant but as soon as he just looks at you with boredom the hell gates are about to be opened.

“Well well well, look who finally graces this place with his presence,” he said, voice tripping with sarcasm. “You have anything to say for your defense?”

Harry gulped knowing he is treading very thin ice here. And it seemed like his boss was in a very bad mood this morning, which was just grand, wasn’t it. Just everything to make this day even worse.

“I- I’m sorry, Mr. Co-“

“You’re _sorry_? This is all you can come up with, Styles?”

“Uhm- I-…yeah I was just-ehm –“, he stuttered, not knowing what to do to save himself, he could not just tell his boss he was late because he overslept. Cowell would eat him alive.

But in this second his office door burst open and Niall almost fell into the room, looking frantic and nervous. When he saw Cowell, he stopped breathing for a second and Harry knew his best friend had hoped to catch Harry before the boss would. Kudos to Niall though for recovering in a split second and putting on his award-winning smile and acted like Cowell was the man he was looking for all along. “Ah, Mr Cowell there you are. I was just looking for you! Mr Winston sent out an email to every floor, asking where you are and requesting your appearance in his office immediately. Something about the new advertisement going wrong?”, Niall told the man with the fakest worry in his eyes Harry had ever seen.

Cowell huffed angrily and murmured under his breath, “This has to be a fucking joke.” He turned back to Harry with a very prominent pulsating vein on his forehead which indicated immediate doom, “Don’t even think about going home on time tonight, Styles. You are going to catch up on every single second you missed this morning and if I even catch so much as a whisper of you coming in later than 9 in the future, you gonna regret this. Believe me. This is warning number one for you.”

With that he turned away and stomped out of Harry’s office without so much as a glance at Niall.

Harry just stared after his boss without taking a single breath for several seconds.

Did he just?

Did he just get an official warning?

Harry did _not_ get official warnings. He was the star student when it came to work.

What the fuck is going on?

“Haz? Hey H, look at me. Are you okay?”, Niall talked to him, but it was far away.

He couldn’t breathe. His lungs hurt. _Why did he not breathe?Wha W_

“Harry? C’mon babe, breathe for me. Give me one deep breath, I know you can do it,” Niall still talked to him, and was he touching his face? Harry felt like Niall was touching his cheek, but everything was fuzzy and unclear.

He felt his view go unfocused with little black dots appearing in his eyes and he felt like he needed to do something.

Suddenly, he heard Niall call out a shrill _“Liam!”_ and not even a moment later he had two pairs of arms around him, and…were they on the floor?

“Harry? Haz, please you have to take a deep breath for us now,” a soothing voice entered his fuzzy mind. And, oh. Breathing. Yeah, that sounded good.

He started panting all of a sudden, almost like his lungs finally remembered what their job was. He tried to take a deep breath just as the soothing voice wanted but it hurt. Damnit why did it hurt so much?

He closed his eyes for a second and try to make the pain go away. A moment later he felt someone sitting behind him and holding him closely, while someone else was brushing his hair out of his face gently. He hummed quietly. Oh, that felt nice.

“Harry? Babe, can you open your eyes for us?”

Slowly opening his eyes, he was met with the concerned eyes of Niall and arms that definitely belonged to Liam around his waist.

“Hi there, are you feeling alright? Quite the scare you gave us here,” Niall smiled gently, still with a concerned glint to his eyes.

Liam hummed in agreement from behind Harry’s back.

“What happened?”, his head hurt and he felt like dying, he hadn’t had a panic attack quite like this in a while and it messed with his head.

Above his head Niall and Liam shared a look. “Well, Cowell was here and-“

And with that everything that happened in the past 15 minutes came back to Harry.

“Oh God, no no no no,” he whimpered quietly, “I got a warning, didn’t I?”

The non-answer was answer enough and he started to shake again.

He was always so good with his work, he always put everything into his best performance, and he was one of the most reliable accountants this hell hole has ever seen. And the one day everything went against him, his fucking boss caught it and immediately threw a warning against Harry’s face. He probably even had fun with it. Sick twisted bastard.

“Haz! Who taught you these names,” Liam gasped faux shocked, and with that Harry knew he had just said everything he was thinking out loud.

“I- I’m sorry,” the curly-haired man said. He usually was a very gentle being, but panic attacks always leave him kinda loose tongued.

“Don’t you dare apologize this git deserves nothing else! He had no right to give you a fucking warning because you were late _once_ in four years working for him. I’m sorry, I wasn’t there earlier. I only heard from Heather that you were in, when I saw him walking to your office,” Niall said with under lying anger. He was always so protective of Harry, another reason why he didn’t leave Niall’s side to find a better job. He needed his best friend around.

“No, i-it’s fine, I’m glad you were there, don’t know what I would have done with a panic attack in front of the devil himself. Thank you. I just can’t believe today out of all days everything went wrong,” Harry sighed quietly.

“Oh Harry, don’t worry one warning is nothing. Niall has like a hundred and he’s still head of the department,” Liam said.

Niall was nodding his head in agreement until the words settled in, “Hey! You watch your mouth, or I will give you a warning!”

Harry giggled, knowing Liam tried to make him laugh and he didn’t want to disappoint one of his best friends.

Seeing Harry’s smile Niall softened immediately, “But yes Li’s right, everyone living in breathing in close quarters to Simon Cowell earns themselves at least 3 warnings. I bet even his beloved dogs have more warnings than you. You’re an angel and on top of that one of the most skilled accountants here, the asshole was just waiting to find something to make you look bad even if none of this was even your fault.”

“Thank you, guys, I love you.”

“We love you too. And now up with you from the floor, I know you are itching to get to work,” Liam teased him softly.

Standing up with the help of Liam and Niall, Harry got up from the floor and walked over to his desk, grateful for his best friends and their ability to always make him calm down.

Before they left the room to go back to their own offices, Harry called Niall, “Winston never asked for Cowell, right?” Niall did not respond but the little shrug was answer enough.

“Love you,” Harry said with a tiny smile. He really had the best friends.

“Get to work, Styles!”, Niall yelled while walking out of the office with a very accurate imitation of Cowell, but Harry still giggled to himself. Niall and Liam always knew how to cheer him up.

Turning on his computer, he got to work and tried to get his focus off of the warning and the all-around shit day he had so far. Immersed in his numbers and calculations he worked for hours without even once looking up from his screen. Only when he couldn’t ignore the rumbling in his stomach anymore did he take a breath and sat up straight in his chair. Looking at the clock hanging above the door he startled a bit seeing that it was already 1:54pm. He literally worked for four hours without even looking up once!

Cowell should see him now, he probably worked more in those four hours than others do in two days. Harry huffed yet again annoyed at his boss for catching him in the worst moment of his year.

Before he could get into another frenzy though his stomach reminded him that he didn’t have any food or coffee today and it was already far past lunch. At least he didn’t have to put up with any of his colleagues and the unavoidable office gossip that must have been flying around all morning after the big boss made his big entrance in Harry’s office.

Yeah, no thanks, Harry could seriously do without their looks of pity and mockery. He didn’t get along with those career drunk snitches anyway. Except for Liam and Niall. And of course, L-… _nope we are not going there right now, idiot._

He got up with his back cracking painfully. Sitting tense and focused for hours on no end was the worst for his back. Stretching for a few minutes helped a bit but he seriously needed some coffee and some kind of food in his belly since he was slowly getting dizzy.

Opening the door of his office the curly-haired man peeked out, assessing the situation and finding with the tiniest bit of relief that everyone seemed busy in their offices as it was usual after lunch hour.

He stepped out in the hallway and made his way to the end of the floor where the communal kitchen was located. Looking through the glass walls, he found the kitchen to be blissfully empty.

Inside the kitchen he immediately he went to the cupboard and grabbed his favourite Christmas mug with the little rainbow jumper wearing Santas on and put it under the coffee machine. Pressing on the button and waiting for the coffee to be done, he closed his eyes for a second and taking a breath, still trying to shake off the underlying anxiety of the morning.

Harry took the cup in his hands, warming his freezing hands for a moment, when he heard the door slide open again. Hoping it was one of the less bitchy and more civil colleagues, he turned around and – dropped the second cup of the day.

He gasped in shock and embarrassment…

… _No, this was not happening right now. Please, please no…_

This could _not_ be happening right now. Why did every god up there hate him so much? Honestly, what did he do wrong to deserve this?

In front of him stood Louis Tomlinson.

_Louis fucking Tomlinson._

Or rather the most wonderful, beautiful, breath taking, gorgeous, kind, funny and stunning person in the _entire world_.

And also, the crush of his life.

And Harry was standing in front of him after a severe panic attack, ugly gossip and a warning off of their boss with a broken fucking cup and spilled coffee on the floor. How much worse could this day even be?

“I-I…I’m – uhm I,” Harry stuttered, blushing bright red. He had an uncanny talent to make a fool of himself in the other man’s presence, but this was probably the worst of yet. He usually tried to stay away from the lawyer, who was responsible for the legal side of the finances of Sony.

The 26- year old knelt on the floor, frantically trying to gather the broken pieces, mumbling to himself, “Oh no no no, damnit.”

“Hey, are you alright?”, he heard Louis ask as he walked the few steps to Harry.

“I- I broke it,” Harry stumbled over the words.

“Harry, it’s just a cup. Don’t worry. I’m sure Sony makes enough money to get a new cup, doesn’t it? You should know best of us,” the blue-eyed man teased gently.

Harry’s blush deepened. Did Louis Tomlinson really know Harry’s position in the firm?

“I- I guess so,” Harry said looking up through his eyelashes into his favourite shade of blue.

“See, no reason to worry. Here, let me help you,” Louis said, collecting the pieces and throwing them in the trash, while Harry swiped the spilled coffee off of the tiles.

When Harry turned back around, he didn’t know what to say but he started to get nervous again, “Thank you for the help,” the curly-haired man said quietly.

“No need to thank me. You looked like you had a rough day already and it’s just past lunch,” the other man replied.

Harry’s eyes fell back down on the floor and only then did he look at his shirt and saw the huge coffee stain on his tummy. _This was not happening. Nope._

“Oh my god, this is so embarrassing,” Harry whispered mortified. He completely forgot the run in with the stranger this morning after Cowell ruined his whole day.

“None of that, it’s just a shirt. And it’s Monday, we all have these Mondays,” Louis smiled, “You wanna tell me what your Monday looked like so far? Seems like you could need to get something off your chest?”

And seriously how sweet and kind could someone be?

“Don’t you have, uhm, work to do? Like important lawyer stuff? I couldn’t keep you away from that.”

“Oh nonsense, Cowell can spare his finance lawyer for a cup of coffee and a chat with a curly-haired accountant.”

And what? Curly-haired? How did Louis know? Harry _always_ wore his curls gelled back during work to look more put together. He touched his hair and realised in that moment, that _of course_ he didn’t have time for this this morning and went out with his curls all over the place.

_Bloody fantastic. What was the next thing, huh?_

“Oh, and I love the glasses. Don’t think I have seen you with them before. Makes you look even smarter,” Louis smiled wider.

_And yeah. Why not?_

Now his crush knew he had bloody curls that made him look 19 and glasses that made him look even more of a nerd.

Did Harry mention, that he hated this day?

“Harry?”

“Oh, uhm, I- thank you?”, he asked uncertain.

Louis’ eyes sparkled and his smile got even wider. Harry wasn’t sure what made him smile like this, but he looked even prettier with his face all lit up like this.

_God, he was so beautiful._

“What were you trying to drink when I interrupted you so rudely?”, the older man asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Uhm, just a coffee with milk,” Harry said trying to actually function like a real human being.

“Coffee with milk it is, I’m going with tea for my choice,” Louis said decidedly and got to work.

A few minutes later they were seated at the small table in the corner of the kitchen with their steaming cups in front of them.

“So, what’s going on in the curly head of yours? What made you look like you haven’t slept in at least a week?”, Louis asked with a concerned shine in his eyes.

And with that Harry just started to talk and talk and talk. And Louis listened to the rant about Harry’s horrible morning.

“And then I dropped my _second_ cup for the day because of you,” Harry took a deep breath and only now realised he had been talking for at least 15 minutes without a second to breathe, “Yeah, uhm so that was my morning?”, he suddenly stopped himself with a little unsure shrug of his shoulders.

Louis looked at him with a shocked expression that slowly turned into one of anger and Harry’s stomach dropped slightly, worried that he annoyed Louis.

“You can’t be serious right now.”

“I am? I’m uhm sorry?” Harry suddenly got up, feeling the need to flee before his day could turn even worse. “I – I have to go, I’m sorry, uhm thanks for listening…I, yeah I need to go. B-bye,” Harry stuttered and left the kitchen.

He rushed back into his office, trying to supress his oncoming tears. Harry can’t believe he was stupid enough to spill his guts to the man he has been admiring from afar for over two years now. He was so careful not to embarrass himself in front of this incredible man and today he just ruined his work of the past months.

This day truly couldn’t become any worse.

He needed to go home. He couldn’t even care if he was going to be fired. He just wanted to curl up in his bed and forget this day ever happened.

On his way out he pulled put his phone, letting Niall know he needed to leave.

**Harry [2:23pm]:**

_I had to leave. Felt so sick all of a sudden. Can you cover for me, please Ni?_

**Ni** **😊** **[2:25pm]:**

_don’t worry, love. I got it. take the rest of the day and tomorrow. I know how to handle Cowell. hope you feel better soon, H. text me or Li if you need anything xx_

Harry breathed a little more calmly knowing Niall had his back yet again.

**Harry [2:27pm]:**

_Thanks, Ni. You’re the best. Love you x_

**Ni** **😊** **[2:28pm]:**

_no need to thank me, bud. love ya too_ ♥

And with that Harry shut off his phone and rushed home to his safe haven and Daisy to cuddle her until he felt better.

****

_Wednesday, 4 th of December 2019_

Two days later, Harry felt vaguely human again after having been locked up in his small studio flat for 48 hours without any contact to anyone except his white Siberian cat Daisy. He stress-baked about twenty trays of Christmas cookies varying from sugar cookies, gingerbread to vanilla crescents and cinnamon stars and listened to his favourite comfort albums that made him miss love but also gave him some kind of warmth. Ending his unplanned off-days with a nice long bath and the decision to paint his nails for the first time in a few months in a soft baby pink, he felt able to face the real world again.

The curly-haired man decided to let his curls down again after realising how much easier it was to comb through his hair without the hard gel. With a happy little smile, he also realised that his hair has been grown out to reach his chin already. His mum calls it the “prince hair” and he secretly loved it.

He also decided to bring in a few tins of the cookies to work since he could never eat them on his own and Niall would hug him extra tight with excitement. Exactly what he needed right now.

Harry managed to slip into his office without being seen by anyone which was already a win in his books. He had texted Liam and Niall before leaving his flat (on time) this morning, telling them they could find him in his office at 9.

Five seconds after 9, Niall and Liam burst into his office with relieved smiles.

“Merry Christmas, my dearest Haz, we missed you!”

“Ni, it’s literally still three weeks until Christmas,” Liam rolled his eyes.

“You don’t always have to be so fucking precise, Mr. Lawyer”, Niall poked his tongue out at Liam, “I’m just jolly happy about having my Haz back.“

Harry giggled from behind his desk, standing up and walking to his two best friends. Immediately he got the hugs he wanted.

“Are you feeling better, babe?”, Liam asked after he let go off the younger man.

“Yes, thanks for covering my ass. I owe you two,” Harry replied.

“No need to thank us love, of course we did that.”

“I still brought you something,” Harry smiled and pointed to the boxes with the Christmas cookies that were placed on the little coffee table in front of his small dark green sofa next to his office door.

“Christmas cookies! Fuck yes, Haz, you are the best!”, Niall squealed, hugging him again before opening up the boxes to inspect his choices. Ten seconds later, he had one of each in his hand, and his mouth full, with the biggest smile possible.

Harry smiled happily. Making his best friends happy was his favourite thing to do but even more so during the holidays.

“Oh, thank you, love,” Liam smiled gently, “How about I’m gonna get us some coffee and we work in here together?”, the brown-eyed man continued, knowing exactly what Harry needed today.

“That’d be really nice,” Harry answered with a growing smile.

“On it!”

10 Minutes later, the three men were seated on Harry’s office floor around the coffee table with their laptops and needed work stuff, steaming cups of coffee and of course Harry’s freshly baked cookies.

Like this, the morning went by in a second and Harry really felt high-spirited and in a good headspace again.

That good feeling lasted until lunch break.

The boys stayed in Harry’s office with sandwiches and tomato soup, Niall ordered from their favourite café, but left the door open in case one of them was needed.

In the middle of them enjoying their break, one of the other accountants, Mary Blake, appeared in the door, seemingly looking for them.

“Oh, Mr Horan, there you are! I just wanted to remind you of the staff meeting at 3 today,” she told him, ignoring Liam and Harry completely. Typical.

“Yeah, thanks Ms Blake. Got a reminder in my phone, but thanks anyway. No worries, we’ll be there,” Niall dismissed her clearly. He really hated this woman and she was desperate to be the star of the department boss. It amused Harry and Liam to no end.

Both of them snickered while her eyes narrowed, and she walked away on her high heels.

Niall flicked them both off, “Haha, really funny guys.” Neither of them could hold in their laughter anymore.

“S-sorry Ni,” Harry giggled.

“She’s SO annoying, you lucky bastards don’t have to deal with her every goddamn day,” the brunette complained. But before he could fall in one of his infamous rants about hating the people in this department, Liam stopped him, “What’s that meeting about anyway and how come I hear of this only now?”

Niall looked up from the rest of his Turkey sandwich, having forgotten about the reason for Mary’s visit already. “Oh right, I forgot to tell you, but the secretary squat from the boss floor decided that it’d be fun for each department to do a secret Santa this year, and today at 3 everyone will draw their name. Bullshit if you ask me, but what do I know?”

Liam and Harry shared a look. All of them hated this place and everyone except for their group and having to buy presents for anyone would be a pain in the arse.

Liam groaned as he fell back against the sofa, but Harry smiled. He loved Christmas and buying presents even if it was for someone he couldn’t stand.

“I don’t know if I love or hate the idea,” he said thoughtful.

“Only you could love spending money on one of the asshats here,” Niall shook his head fondly while ruffling the younger man’s hair.

“Everyone deserves a little happiness even if they are ‘asshats’ as you put it so nicely,” Harry answered equally as fondly.

“You gonna make the best present, I’m already jealous,” Niall said while munching on another cinnamon star.

Harry just gave him a look. “I have your present since August, you doughnut.” And with that he put their trash together to throw it away while Niall looked at him with the brightest smile.

When they sat back down to get back to work, Liam mumbled, “And what about me?”

Harry grazed this with nothing more than a gentle shove to the older man’s shoulder and went back to his calculations.

Two hours later, Niall’s phone went off with ‘Fuck You’ by Lilly Allen on full volume, making Liam and Harry fall into peals of laughter again.

“I hate you so much, if I draw your name you get one of my used gym socks,” he huffed standing up.

“Why are you so grumpy, Ni? C’mon it’s about Christmas in the end and Christmas is the best time of the year!”, Harry sing-songed trying to get Niall on his level of holiday spirit that has been kick started with his baking marathon and the Christmas playlist he turned on for the first time on the tube this morning.

“Yeah,, well, you don’t have to organise all of this and be the cheery boss who also gives out the presents on our Christmas party next week. NO, because that is gonna be ME and they all gonna come cry to me if they are not happy with either their drawn name OR the present they got…,” Niall whined.

Liam begged Harry with his eyes to handle this because Harry was just more capable of working with Niall’s moods since they have been best friends for so long.

Thus, Harry walked over to a pacing Niall and put his hands on his shoulders making him stop and look into Harry’s eyes.

“And that’s where you’re wrong, Ni. It’s gonna be a good thing _because_ you are the boss. You can ultimately decide how this thing is gonna work in our department because it’s your department. Even though you have order from the higher ups you can twist it your own way,” Harry tried and console his brunette best friend, “and if you are afraid of all of this to happen just change the rules for us? Instead of handing out the presents during the Christmas party just say everyone is supposed to drop of the present in the office of the person they had drawn. Say that we are supposed to drop them off when we see the other person is not in their office, so we get the real surprise and secret since no one knows who dropped it off. Makes it more fun right? And then just tell them how you are not the responsible person for all of this and advise them to go see the boss floor if they should be offended by the gift. Aka you are off the hook.”

Niall stared at Harry with a gaping mouth for several seconds.

“Harry Styled, I fucking love you!”, he squealed, hugging his curly haired best friend tightly, “What would I do without you? My brilliant, brilliant boy.”

Harry just shook his head and laughed, hugging the Irishman back.

“Let’s go and get this meeting done then!”, Niall called before walking out of the office.

“Good one, Haz. I’m so glad you always know how to deal with Niall’s diva moments,” Liam grinned and slung an arm around Harry’s shoulders, both of them following Niall to the open meeting area of the Accounting and Finance department.

When they made their way over to the area, they are seemingly the last ones to arrive and kept their distance, standing to the side, so Niall would be able to see them from his place at the front, next to the huge white screen, which was usually used for presentations during their meetings.

“Hello everyone! Thank you for pausing your work for this little meeting that has been announced for a more fun reason than calculations!”, Niall started in a cheery tone, seemingly having found the fun aspect in all of this after Harry gave him the rescue plan.

The whole department laughed because they loved Niall even if he didn’t love them back. Liam and Harry found this funny to no end.

“As some of you might have heard, the higher ups have decided to do a firm wide but department intern Secret Santa this year, which means that every single department will hold a Secret Santa between the employees of their own department. The heads of departments, so Mr Winston, Mr O’Connor, Ms Taylor, Mrs Meyer, me and the others are the people coordinating the game for their own department.”

Niall looked around to make sure everyone understood this meant they would not be drawing names from other departments where they might have friends.

“In our department, I decided to handle things a little different than you may get told from others, but this has just to do with logistics that will work better for us. First of all, the rules; each of us is going to draw a name out of the box. In this box we have all names of the members of our department. You will be taking one of them and this is the person you will be giving a present to. We set the price limit at 20 pounds which should be alright for everyone. Then instead of –”

Then Niall went on explaining the changed rules Harry thought of, but Harry himself started to drift off. He was looking around his group of colleagues and with a little gasp his wandering eyes stopped on the person he desperately tried to avoid since Monday.

On the other side of the meeting area Louis was leaning against the wall of windows listening intently to what Niall was saying even though he was looking kind of bored?

Was he not a fan of Christmas then?

Did his dream man really have one flaw?

Harry shook his head.

_You idiot. As if this would matter. Even if he hates Christmas you will never be in a position to try and make him love your favourite day._

He sighed to himself. All of his good mood was slowly disappearing, and he always tried to be happy during the weeks leading up to his happy day.

Liam nudged Harry gently and he startled out of his thoughts, turning to look at his best friend.

“Hey, where have you just been?”, he asked teasingly, “Niall just finished and we gonna have to pick the name now.”

Harry just nodded his head, but they both decided to stay back and wait for a moment without having to say it.

After a short while, the majority of his colleagues have drawn their names. Some of them looked quite happy. Some of them looked quite glum.

Harry was certain, one of the glum ones had drawn him and they were now contemplating to quickly leave the department. Because what would you gift the most boring and ill-fitting person of the _whole firm_?

When he looked up again, he saw that Louis was jut making his way over to the box, which by now was only half full.

He watched Louis move around the remaining pieces of paper and it looked like he was really thinking hard on which one to pick – which,, damn that was really cute.

Harry sighed wistfully.

Why did this man have to be so bloody cute and adorable in literally everything he did, all while being strong and hot and funny and kind???

The world was _so_ unfair, and Harry hated his life.

After what seemed like forever, the blue-eyed man finally made his decision and drew a piece of paper out of the glass box.

Harry was aware of how creepy he was while staring at Louis, but he really wanted to see his reaction, after he had been so bored earlier.

Louis opened up the folded piece of paper and read the name. Suddenly the bored and apprehensive look on his face melted away completely and made space for the most breath-taking smile. A smile that literally lit up his whole entire _face._

The smaller man kept staring at the piece of paper for a second before pushing it into the pocket of his dress pants and turning back facing the entrance of the meeting area.

The blinding smile was gone, but he still had an obvious sparkle in his eyes and a tilt to his lips that promised he was more than pleased with the name he got.

Damn. How Harry wished it was his name that would made Louis literally light up like a Christmas tree. That was like the dream of his life.

But he was Harry. So, there was his answer. And even if there had been a chance of Louis finding him nice before, after the incident on Monday his chances of even becoming friends with the older man was out of the window. Harry himself made sure of that.

The younger man still couldn’t shake off the sour feeling in his stomach after seeing Louis’ reaction…

And okay, now he honestly reached a new level of pathetic.

Harry was officially jealous of a name on a piece of bloody paper.

No, not actually _just_ a name.

He was jealous of one of his colleagues who would be getting a gift from Louis that was probably thought through so well since Louis always made sure he to be soft and gentle and to leave a positive impression on anyone.

Yeah, Harry _really_ hated his life.

“Harry?”

He startled out of his thoughts and looked into Liam’s yet again concerned eyes. Liam was looking at him like this entirely too often these past few days. It was about time for Christmas leave.

“Yeah?”

“You zoned out there for a minute, mate. Are you alright?”, his friend asked.

Harry nodded, “Yeah, sure. ‘s been a long day, that’s all. Shall we go pick our names?”, he asked instead.

Liam nodded in return and together they walked over to Niall who was still standing at the table with the box.

“Oh, there you are, lads. I thought you had left me hangin’ there for a sec,” he laughed.

“Noo, we would never, Ni,” Liam laughed.

“Shall we find out our lucky star?” Harry asked with a giggle, trying to forget about his previous thoughts.

“Yeah, let’s get it over with. We are the last ones anyway. Just three names left in there. I’m surprised we managed a day where everyone was in and was able to pick and be picked,” Niall said, relieved of having to run around and manage sick leaves and stuff.

“Okay, you two go first. Since I am the one who was the readiest, I’m gonna take the remaining name,” Harry said with mysterious whisper, that made his boys laugh.

Liam and Niall made their pick and opened up their names, both groaning in unison.

“Who’d you get?”, Harry asked looking at both of them.

“Leo Barnes,” Liam said, “Not the worst one I could have gotten but he is literally the most non-descript character in the bloody universe. How am I supposed to find something for this guy?”, he whined quietly.

“He’s not too bad. I’m gonna help you, don’t worry. And Ni, what about you?”, Harry calmed down Liam first before turning to Niall.

“Yeah, same as Liam it’s not too bad. Could’ve been Blake for heaven’s sake but got lucky and got Samantha Clouston. She’s an arrogant bitch, but at least she’s gonna be happy with a Starbucks gift card since she drinks nothing else than her Super Skinny White Mocca Lattes with Almond Milk,” Niall imitated the last part with an extrem high-pitched voice that sent Harry and Liam into a fit of giggles. Even though Niall was a man his impression was still spot on.

“That was bloody great, mate,” Liam gasped out while trying to catch his breath after laughing for five minutes straight. Harry just nodded his agreement.

When they all calmed down again, it was time for Harry to draw the last name.

“Pray for me, I’ll get an easy one too. If I’m gonna be stuck with someone like Ted Barker, I’ll legit gonna retire on the spot.”

Niall and Liam winced in sympathy. Getting Barker would indeed be the worst outcome of it all, since he was bestie with Cowell and would judge anything you got him. Even if he technically wasn’t supposed to know who got him the present, this man would know, and he would take the piss out of you even if it was a god damn Rolex watch you got him.

Taking a nervous breath, Harry stepped to the box and pulled out the last remaining piece of paper.

He held it in his hands for a second, now a little scared of what he would find.

He knew his behaviour was ridiculous. It was just a stupid Secret Santa, but in the end, gossip would still be gossip and judgement would still be judgement in this house and Harry hated all of it.

Knowing he had to read the name eventually, he just pulled the trigger and opened the folded piece of paper.

And what he read was so much worse than Ted Barker.

So, so, so much worse.

His whole face paled and he stopped breathing for several seconds while reading the name again and again.

“Haz, what is it? Who’d you get?”, Niall asked worried about Harry’s missing reaction.

“Is it really Barker?”, Liam whispered incredulous.

“No, it’s worse.”

“How could it be worse?”  
“What the fuck?”

“I-I –”

“Just tell us the name, Harry.”  
“Who’d you get.”

“Louis Tomlinson.”

○○○

Harry groaned for the approximately the 98th time in the past hour alone while banging his head on the sticky top of the pub’s table.

“C’mon, you drama queen, this is really not the end of the world,” Liam said, ruffling Harry’s hair with a fond eye roll in Niall’s direction.

“It really really is,” Harry moaned pitifully.

“Just tell us one thing, H. You have been halfway in love with him for like two years now, why are you not excited as fuck to make him a present???”, Niall asked genuinely confused.

Harry lifted his head to shot him an unimpressed look, before banging his head on the table again.

“Maybe, Ni’s right, H,” Liam tried, “You could make him smile and impress him and maybe this is how Louis finally sees how amazing you are.”

Harry turned into Liam and hid his face in his neck, looking for comfort.

“And what if he’s gonna hate my present and he’ll hate me more?”, the younger man whined.

“Who the fuck said Tomlinson hated you?”, Liam asked shocked, “Louis and me have worked together on several cases and he is one of the best and nicest people here. He could never hate you, love.”

“Yeah, I have to agree with Payno here, Tommo is a great lad, he’s gonna love everything you give him,” Niall added.

“Tommo?”, Harry looked confused.

“Oh, did I not tell you? We’ve been playing footie together for months now and we got pretty close, he’s a great lad.”

“No, you did not mention this little fun fact,” Harry mumbled with a hint of anger.

“Hey, hey, why are you so upset about this?”, Liam asked, immediately sensing that something is going on in Harry’s head?

Harry sighed and finally told his best friends about the run in he had with Louis on Monday.

When Harry had finished, the other men shared an amused look.

“What? Why do you look like you’re about to laugh?”, Harry huffed with a pout.

“Haz, you literally ran away without even letting him react,, hate to break it to you, but you have no idea what he even wanted to say,” Liam told him gently.

“Ye, what Liam said. And also, Tommo’s a top lad and he hates Cowell at least as much as we do, if not more. I can’t imagine he would take the piss even without including how he is the nicest person around.”

Harry swallowed hard.

“D-does this mean, I-I made an arse out of myself, f-for nothing?”, Harry asked.

Niall just looked at him sympathetically.

“Oh my god,” the younger one whispered.

He really blew his already slim chances to get into contact with the man he loves.

“Don’t worry Haz, you can redeem yourself and make him fall in love with you with your present!”, Niall called cheerfully, beer having tinted his cheeks a cute pink.

Harry paled immediately.

“Good one, Niall,” Liam huffed, “Look, Haz, there is always the possibility of staying anonymous while gifting, that’s literally the main thing of Secret Santa. You can’t lose, babe, give him one of your amazing presents, in case he really didn’t like it you can just act as if you were never involved. But if he likes what he sees, you can tell him it was you aka a great conversation starter,” Liam continued with a satisfied smile for coming up with a reasonable argument.

“I guess you’re right?”, Harry said unsurely.

“Of course, we’re right. It’s us, Haz,” Niall said with a winning smile.

Maybe it really wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe just the end of Harry. He knew this could never end well, but Liam seems reasonable enough.

At least he didn’t have to hand over his present personally.

And with that, he got up and got another round for the boys and himself.

_Friday, 13 th of December_

About a week later, Harry finally had Louis’ present ready for delivery. He still had no idea whatsoever if Louis would even like it, but the whole department decided on this Friday to be the last possible day to drop off the presents in case someone left for early holidays. Niall wanted to make sure everyone got their present in the end even if he acted like it was the worst thing to ever happen to him in the beginning. Therefore, Harry had to give Louis the finished product even though he was already doubting all the choices he made.

The 26-year old knitted a pair of fuzzy socks in the same icy sparkly blue as a Louis’ eyes because it was Harry’s favourite colour. Bought him a cinnamon bun scented candle because it was a smell of utter comfort and he saw Louis eating cinnamon rolls on various occasions which led him to the decision that the other man probably loved cinnamon. He also got him a nice sugar scrub that was infused with lavender and vanilla, to calm down after an undoubtedly stressful day in the firm. And last but not least he added a boy of his Christmas cookies because who didn’t love Christmas cookies?

Harry wrapped all of the parts individually, put them in a little basket and topped it with a sparkly Christmas card that said _‘Merry Christmas, here’s to the much needed rest all of us need in this firm. I thought I’d help and get you some of the essentials. Enjoy xx’_ in his swoopy hand-writing.

He smiled to himself, thinking if he got something like this he would definitely love and appreciate it and this alone was reason enough to gift it. Harry just hoped Louis would smile his lovely, crinkle-eyed smile when he opened his present. Because this was definitely Harry’s favourite thing in the entire world and just the thought of it made him smile as well.

Even though it was a Friday and staff tended to come in a little later than usual, Harry was in even earlier than on his normal schedule, to make sure he wouldn’t run into Louis and reveal his identity.

He wanted to keep it a secret.

And okay,, maybe he was also just nervous about the other man’s reaction and didn’t want to face another embarrassing encounter. Harry would need to move to Alaska if this kind of interaction happened for the second time in two weeks.

Walking into the office space of their floor, he found all offices still dark and empty. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was only 8 o’clock. Yeah, no wonder he was all alone. It was still another hour till the people actually had to be here.

At least he would be alone for the present drop off and got some quiet time to get a good start on his work for the day.

Firstly, he put his jacket and leather bag into his office and got the little basket out of the tote bag he used to carry the present from home to his office.

Harry walked to the other end of the office floor where the finance lawyer’s offices were situated. He usually never went there because Liam was always with him and Niall anyway and therefore, he never even stepped into Louis’ office as well. Luckily, each office had a small name tag next to the door, so he didn’t have to panic about going into the wrong one.

In there, he didn’t try to look around too much, feeling kinda strange to be in Louis’ space without him even knowing about it. His plan was to just put the present on Louis’ des so he would see it immediately on arrival. He hurried to Louis’ desk and placed said basket in the middle of the tabletop.

Harry couldn’t keep himself from taking a peek at the picture frames that were placed in the corner of the table, facing Louis when he was sitting on his desk chair.

The first two were of Louis and his family, all smiling happily and bright into the camera. Harry immediately smiled as well, Louis was known to be a family man, he told everyone who would listen about his siblings and his love for children.

Harry really wanted his babies.

Louis just had to say the word.

But when his eyes moved on to the third picture, his smile fell off his face as quickly as it came. The third one was of Louis and a mysterious man both holding each other’s waists gently and laughing into the camera both with a sparkle in his eyes. And,, damn this stranger was beautiful, really fucking beautiful. He could definitely be a model.

And. _Of course._

Louis had a boyfriend.

And why wouldn’t he?

He was perfect in every way and he would be off the market.

A person like Louis Tomlinson would never be single.

_What was Harry thinking?_

Why did he never think of this?

It was literally _crystal clear._

And yet, Harry felt like a bucket of ice water was dumped on him.

Don’t get him wrong, he knew he never had a chance to even think of Louis in that way but seeing proof of how unattainable he really was, was a punch to the gut.

Harry turned around immediately and walked out of the office quietly closing the door behind him. He numbly walked back to his office and went to work which effectively made him not think of anything except for numbers.

At lunch time, he saw Louis making tea in the kitchen with a sunny smile and rosy cheeks and lost all appetite he had worked up during his morning.

Louis really was happy and so so far away.

_Monday, 16 th of December_

After another weekend of wallowing in self-pity and sadness, Harry was back at work for another Monday in his personal hell.

When he stepped into his office, something felt off immediately. The curly-haired man frowned to himself because he couldn’t make out what was different. Shaking his head and thinking he was just over tired from all the anxiety, he walked over to his desk and stopped in his tracks –

There on the middle of his desk lied a sparkly red envelope and a soft baby pink gerbera. Which what? These were his favourite flowers; how did anyone know? And what even was this?

Did his mum send him an early Christmas present? But why to his office?

Harry was so confused.

He dropped his bag on the floor and picked up the flower first, giving it a small sniff and smiled. It was a really pretty one and it made him immediately happy. He loved flowers in general, but gerberas have been his favourite since he was a little boy. And this one was an especially pretty one with the soft pink petals.

After inspecting the flower, he picked up the envelope and saw it had written _‘for H. xx’_ on the front. He didn’t recognise the writing and he was pretty sure he knew his mum’s handwriting. The 26-year old got only more confused but also nervously excited about the origin of this whole thing.

He opened up the envelope and pulled out a Christmas card that had a lovely design on its front, but Harry was too nervous to inspect it further and just opened it completely to read the text inside.

> _‘Hi Harry,_
> 
> _I know this might seem like a weird way to get your Secret Santa, but I thought I would switch it up a bit._
> 
> _What would you say to a Secret Santa Date?_
> 
> _I’ve been wishing for this opportunity for a long while now, and this seemed like a gift of fate. A nice thought with Christmas so close right?_
> 
> _So, if you want to go out with me, and don’t think I am batshit crazy, meet me on Wednesday at 8:00pm at La Belle in Camden Town._
> 
> _I really really hope to see you there._
> 
> _I’m the one with the orange gerbera, since I know how much you love them_
> 
> _Merry Christmas._
> 
> _Your Secret Santa xx’_

If you asked Harry later, he would deny that he stared at this note for legit 10 minutes without taking a single breath.

Without doing anything he was actually supposed to do…like work…he rushed out of his office and literally fell into Niall’s.

“Mornin’ Haz, how are y-“, Niall started with a smile before he looked into Harry, “What’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

Niall rounded his desk and walked over to Harry who stood quietly next to Niall’s sofa.

“I- I uhm I,” Harry stuttered and decided to just thrust the card into his best friend’ hands.

The 27-year old looked confused but took the card with furrowed eyebrows.

Great, Niall must think Harry lost it for real this time. Harry sighed to himself, what even was this December?

He asked for a nice quiet and simple Christmas with Daisy and his best friends and going home to visit his mum and Robin and not this.

What did he do this year to kick off the month with a major panic attack, a lot of crying and now this?

Niall’s cackles pulled him out of his thoughts and Harry looked at him questioningly.

“What’s so funny about this? This is a rude joke and you laugh at me?”, Harry whined with a pout. He hated his colleagues and he hated his friends. Niall fucking who?

Niall still had a brilliant smile on his face.

“This is better than I thought,” Niall mumbled to himself while pulling out his phone and snapping a picture.

Harry gaped at him. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?”, Harry screeched getting annoyed of obviously missing something.

“Oh nothing, babe, nothing”, Niall giggled. In that moment, Liam rushed into the office and plugged the card out of Niall’s hands with the same gleeful expression as his former best friend.

Harry hated both of them. He really really wanted to stomp like a petty little child but he also needed answers.

“Honestly, can you like tell me why you think this is funny?”

This did nothing than setting the other two off in another round of happy giggles.

“So, you really think this rude joke which by the way will make me the joke of the department _again_ is oh so funny? Thanks a lot lads thanks a lot,” Harry huffed irritated and also a little hurt.

This Christmas is getting worse and worse. All the while Liam and Niall were looking at him with shit eating grins.

The curly-haired man was about to just walk out of the office and pout alone in his office when Liam grabbed his wrist gently. Annoyed Harry turned around and focused on the brown-eyed one.

“Haz, I promise it’s not what you think.”

“Oh, and tell me dear Liam, what am I thinking?”

“Oi, cheeky,” Niall called from his desk.

Harry just threw him a dark look.

Liam just continued as if he wasn’t even interrupted.

“Harry, love, believe me this is not what you think. This is not a joke but a really serious invite. If you don’t believe the card, believe me when I tell you, you really really should take the invitation. You are not gonna regret it.”

“How do you know? Who is it from?”, Harry wanted to know.

“It’s a surprise.”

“So, yeah, that’s not gonna happen then.”

“C’mon Haz, we promise you gonna be so happy about it.”

“Then just tell me!”, Harry was slowly getting angry with nerves and being kept in the dark.

“Please, babe, why would we lie to you and be in on such a fucked up joke? We love you, we would never do that,” Liam tried to reason with him.

“What Liam said!”, Niall yelled.

“But,, how in the world could this be meant seriously?”, Harry whispered, letting his walls down and show off his insecurity. There was _no_ chance in hell that anyone in the department could possibly want to take him out.

Liam and Niall immediately knew why Harry reacted the way he did. He was just scared.

Niall walked over to them and pulled Harry in a hug. “Babe, I promise you this is gonna be the most wonderful Christmas present you have ever gotten, and you would hate yourself for not doing this. Who knows, maybe you get something out of it? And if not? It’s just dinner. But whatever goes on this curly head of yours right now, let me tell you it’s wrong.”

“Yes, Niall’s right--“

“I’m _always_ right!”

“—you’re the nicest, funniest, cutest, most caring and gentle person in this whole firm and people who don’t see this are just stupid stuck-up jerks. But, love, this person really came through and asked you because they _see_ you for you and that should be enough to take the chance and go. And, yes if it’s not happening to be more, you just got a real nice dinner out of it. Because damn, La Belle is a good place,” Liam told him gently.

And Harry.

Harry was so tired. This month has been a rollercoaster of emotions and he would rather go to sleep for four weeks straight, but why would Niall and Liam press him to go if they weren’t sure it would be a good thing?

After another 20 minutes of them arguing about the pros and cons of going and neither Niall nor Liam letting him know who that person is, Harry agreed.

The proud smiles of his two best friends for going so far out of his comfort zone was reason enough to say yes.

_Wednesday, 18 th of December_

Harry has been a nervous wreck ever since he found the note, and by the end of his workday on Wednesday he had annoyed Niall and Liam to a level where they didn’t even help him picking out an outfit.

And this was honestly the worst thing that could have happened.

What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

He has been trying to find a good outfit ever since he came home from work on the faithful Monday night, but has been just as unsuccessful as in trying to stay calm.

It was Wednesday evening 5:30pm, Harry just got home from work half an hour ago and he was sitting on his bedroom floor with Daisy in his lap trying to get his shit together.

“What the fuck am I _doing_?”, he whispered into Daisy’s fluffy white fur.

His cat just cuddled into his neck and licked his jaw.

“Thanks, baby, your help is much appreciated,” he sighed, “Alright time to get it going.”

He got up and placed Daisy on his fuzzy duvet, that was covering his bed. Petting her head again, he walked over to his wardrobe and opened it for what felt like the 670th time this week hoping to finally find an inspiration.

“It’d be so much easier to know who the other person even is,” Harry mumbled to himself also for about the 670th time this week. Frankly, he was scared it’d be a woman because if he could do one thing less than flirting it was talking to women. He knew this since he was 13 and he never looked back. So, his worries of finding a female date later were still there. Then again, he couldn’t imagine Niall and Liam would have talked him into the date if it really was a woman. They knew him long enough to not go this route.

But who in their department identified as queer as well? He didn’t know there was anyone else openly out since Cowell was known to be quite the homophobic asshole and everyone who even resembles something different than straight was on his bad side.

One of the main reasons why he never even started to appreciate Harry’s work. But this is a story for another day.

Back to the important topic and Harry’s mind has been going in circles around this for so many hours he lost sleep to it.

Desperate for some help and knowing Liam and Niall were not picking up their phones anymore, he dialled his sister’s number even though he was not ready for this conversation.

_“Hello?”_ , the familiar, soothing voice of his sister answered the call.

“Hi Gem,” Harry answered.

_“H, hi! I’m so sorry, I really don’t have time to chat right now, should’ve texted me, I really have to run,”_ Gemma rushed out, sounding out of breath as well.

Harry closed his eyes, he really didn’t have any luck, “Oh, that’s no problem, G, wasn’t that important anyway. Hope you have a good evening.”

_“Thanks, baby bro. Call me on the weekend we can chat about Christmas plans! See you then. Love ya!”_

“Love you too,” and with that Gemma hung up again.

_This is a nightmare._

The 26-year old decided to take a shower first and work on his hair which was another story that needed some time.

He turned on his Christmas playlist and danced to _Last Christmas_ and _All I want for Christmas is You_ through his shower routine which definitely help to put him in a Christmassy mood which lifted his all around mood by 110%.

After he was showered and had dealt with his hair, which he decided to leave open and flowy today (he happily realised that it was almost touching his shoulders by now), he went back to his closet and examined his possible outfits again.

Suddenly his phone pinged from his bedside table.

He walked back over there and looked at it just to find a text from Liam.

**Li** **☺** **[6:43pm]**

_wear the yellow lace blouse, you look lovely in it and it makes your eyes pop_ 😊

Harry smiled.

**Harry [6:44pm]**

_thx, Li, love u_ _♥_

**Li** **☺** **[6:45pm]**

_have fun babe xx_

With Liam’s help he immediately felt much more confident and Liam was right. The yellow lace blouse was one of his favourite pieces, but he never dared to wear it at work in fear of the judgement. So, if his colleague is gonna see him in his real clothes and he decides it was a mistake, Harry at least knew immediately where he stood.

The curly-haired man finished dressing himself and paired the blouse with skinny black jeans, another thing he never wore to work but he still secretly loved because they made his legs look pretty and the hours of hot yoga could be shown off for real.

He finished his look with his favourite YSL leather boots and also decided to put on some of his beloved rings that have been neglected in the past months. On his finger were found a rose ring, a silver ring with a pretty turquoise stone and a small banded white gold ring with three small diamonds on the front which was his most loved and expensive possession since it came right out of the famous blue _Tiffany & Co. _box.

After spritzing some of his favourite Gucci perfume on himself, he walked over to his full length mirror and took a critical look in it. He really went full out today and let his sugar baby tendencies as Niall had named them out on full display. But he loved this version of himself and he never got to show off at work and he lowkey wanted to impress this colleague of him even though he was still about to have a nervous breakdown.

But hey at least he looked different than usual while making a fool of himself, right?

Looking at his watch, he realised it was already ten past 7 and he needed to set off at 7:20pm the latest, since he had to take quite the ride with the tube to get to the restaurant.

He was so nervous he couldn’t even think of food, but he knew this restaurant was super fancy and he just didn’t know how to feel about an invitation like this.

Harry shook his head and tried to keep the anxiety at bay as he put on his long black coat and his cosy deep-green scarf. Grabbing his phone, his keys and his wallet, he walked out of the bedroom and straight out of his flat. He just wanted to get this over with still not quite convinced Liam and Niall have been completely honest with him.

30 minutes and a tube ride later, he stood in front of _La Belle_ and his nerves has reached an almost breaking point. He suddenly wasn’t sure if he was able to go through with this evening.

It suddenly sounded like the worst idea in the world.

Why again, did he let Niall and Liam talk him into this?

He would never forgive them for letting him make a fool of himself _again_.

Harry was just about to turn around and just go back home, when the waitress from the reception opened the door and asked with a friendly voice, “Can I help you, sir? You seem a little bit lost.”

Harry looked at her, “Oh, yes thank you. I- I , my name is Harry Styles? I’m supposed to meet someone here tonight?”, he questioned. And what? Why did he not just walk away? Why was his brain not working today?

“Let me just have a look in our book, please step inside, sir. It’s far too cold, to stay outside,” she said smilingly.

“Oh, yeah, right,” Harry mumbled and followed her to the small reception desk in the front of the restaurant.

“Styles, was it? Let me see … Ah, here we are a table for two at 8:00pm, is that right?”

“Yes, this should be it,” Harry said with a barely convincing tone to his voice.

Thankfully, the waitress didn’t seem to notice and just happily chatted on, “Oh, yes your company has arrived a few minutes ago and should be waiting for you. Let me show you to him.”

So, it was a _him_.

Harry swallowed relieved.

At least one problem less to worry about.

He didn’t answer and just follow the girl again. He was brought into the back part of the restaurant, where it was quieter and seemed more private than the open spaced part in the front.

When they rounded the last separation to give each table privacy, Harry stopped in his tracks and his heart probably also definitely stopped beating.

There on the table that was reserved for STYLES was sitting no other than Louis.

Louis Tomlinson.

Louis _fucking_ Tomlinson was sitting on _his_ table.

Oh my god.

What the fuck was happening?

“Oh my god,” Harry whispered quietly enough to not be heard.

“Excuse me, sir? Is everything alright?”, the waitress asked.

Harry shook himself out of his raising panic and the _confusion_ when he heard the girl talking to him.

“Oh, um yes, I’m fine, thank you.”

“Wonderful. Then I leave you to it. Enjoy your evening, your waiter for the night will be with you shortly,” she smiled brightly, obviously thinking this was a date.

Like a real one.

Which, haha funny.

Liam and Niall were so going to regret this.

When the girl was gone, Harry didn’t know what to do. For now, he decided to stare at the floor until hopefully a hole in the floorboards would open and swallow him whole.

This tactic unfortunately didn’t work and a few seconds later he heard a gentle cough from Louis.

And _what the fuck Louis was here_?

Harry slowly looked up to the table and there in front of Louis was placed a beautiful orange gerbera – just as the card said.

Harry’s breathing picked up, he was so confused and overwhelmed, he did not expect to see the man of his _dreams_ sitting here in front of him.

Louis seemed to sense how Harry was getting anxious and he quickly stood up and walked the two steps over to the trembling younger boy.

“You came,” he gently said with a small smile but very very shining eyes. Beautiful eyes.

“I-I did,” Harry answered.

“Shall we take a seat?”

Harry nodded and Louis turned back to his seat, giving him a second to gather himself.

When they were both seated, Harry tried to work through the thoughts that were racing through his mind. Louis gave him the space to do that and just looked at him with soft eyes. Which was weirdly soothing and helped to calm Harry’s nerves enough to let him breathe.

“Are you alright, Harry?”

“I, I don’t know. I’m confused?”, Harry replied.

“Why are you confused, love,” the pet name rolling off his tongue with ease and making Harry’s heart miss a beat.

“Why are _you_ here?”

Louis looked at him with a small laugh, “Oh, so I see Ni and Payno really didn’t spill the beans, I’m impressed.”

“Wait, what? Niall and Liam knew? Knew what? God, my head hurts,” the younger boy mumbled and closed his eyes for a second.

“Hey easy, love. I don’t want you to stress. We have time for explanations later, but let me just say that the boys helped me pull this off, and I’m very happy they kept their promise to get you to agree and actually come here tonight while also not telling you that it was me,” the blue-eyed man told him.

“So, you g-got my name in the Secret Santa?”, Harry checked again still not fully believing that this was happening.

Before Louis could answer, the waiter arrived at their table.

“Good evening, my name is Michael, can I get some drinks started for you?”

Louis looked at him and answered, “Yes, could we get some water and a bottle of your best white?”

“Of course, I’ll be right back with your drinks, gentlemen.”

“I hope you like red? Niall said, you love wine?”, Louis asked with a sweet little blush on his cheeks.

“I do,” Harry answered, endeared to see Louis’ cheeks all rosy and pretty.

“Good,” Louis smiled, “And yes, to answer your question, I indeed got your name in the Secret Santa, and I was over the moon about it!”

Harry remembered Louis’ brilliant smile after reading the name, and what? Harry’s name made him smile like this?

“But why?”, Harry whispered hoarsely.

Louis looked at him with gentle eyes, but no surprise at all.

“What do you mean _why_? Do you have any idea how long I wanted to ask you out, but I didn’t have the guts to do so? Let me tell you, it’s been a long ass time and our dear Liam could not stand my whining any longer.”

Harry blinked at him, speechless. Louis laughed softly.

“Yeah, the boys have warned me that you would probably be confused.”  
“S-since when are you all friends?”

“Liam and me have been partners for quite a while now and Ni and me play footie together.”

Harry looked down on the table, at a loss for words. In this moment their drinks arrived, and he could focus on something else for a second.

“What would you like to eat?”, their waiter asked.

“Can I get the salmon with mushroom risotto?”, Louis asked politely to which Michael nodded with a smile.

“And what about you, sir?”, he addressed Harry.

Harry gulped; he hadn’t even looked at the menu.

“Uhm, can I get the Pasta Alfredo, please?”, praying that they had this on their menu? Every restaurant had this dish hopefully the fancy ones too.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be back with the food.”

Harry breathed relieved when Michael walked away. When he looked back up into Louis’ eyes, the other one was already looking at him.

“I didn’t know you were so close to them,” Harry said, trying to hide the hurt he irrationally felt.

“We haven’t been until a few weeks back, no joke. Liam and me got assigned this huge case and we just hit it off and then we realised Niall and me go to the same gym and we started talking. Took them like three days to figure out, I wanted to get close to you but didn’t have a clue how to approach the beautiful but so so quiet accountant in the corner office.”

“D-do you mean this?”, Harry was about to pass out from nerves. Did Louis really just say he wanted to get _close_ to him.

“Of course, I do, Harry. Do you even know how amazing you are? I’ve been admiring you basically since my first day here and we never even talked properly, but then two weeks ago we had this long chat in the kitchen it was the best thing ever, I-“

“But this was so embarrassing? And it ended so badly? You looked so annoyed, and I’m sor-“

“Wait what? No, god no, Harry. I wasn’t annoyed with you! I was fucking _pissed_ at Cowell! This fucking asshole deserves to go to hell and the way he treated you was just fucked up and justified! I wanted to punch him in his ugly face for making you stress like that! H, you got an anxiety attack because of this man, of course I was furious. But not at you, never at you! I was so worried and then you just left, and I didn’t know what even happened. And then you didn’t come to work and that’s when I started to really whine and kill Liam and Niall’s last nerves. They were this close to drag you in my office so I could see you, but I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me,” Louis rambled in high-speed.

The older man was so focused on explaining everything to Harry, he didn’t even notice he had grabbed Harry’s hands that was lying on top of the table and held on for dear life, as to highlight how honest he was being.

Harry’s head was spinning, this all seemed like a dream, and his hand in Louis’ felt like a bloody dream. They just _fit_. And Harry secretly preened at that. Even though he was still confused to no end.

Louis stopped to take a breath and looked at their intertwined hands. But instead of pulling his hand away as Harry expected, he just rearranged them, so he was holding Harry’s hand more gently and started to draw little circles with his thumb.

Harry was either about to pass out or to go to heaven.

“I, I’m sorry for running off. And I’m sorry for being overwhelmed and confused. I don’t know if I’m dreaming or not right now,” Harry confessed with a rising blush.

Louis giggled cutely. “Oh, love. Please don’t apologise, this was a very stressful situation for you, and I can just imagine how strange my card must have been to you. But let me tell you, when we drew the names for Secret Santa, and I got _Harry_ it felt like fate told me to finally get a grip and just go for it. So, Liam and Niall helped me form this plan and here we are! I’m just so glad you didn’t think this was some sick joke and decide to not turn up,” He laughed before taking a sip of his wine.

Before Harry could answer, the waiter reappeared with their food. He placed the steaming plates in front of Louis and Harry and both of them thanked him.

“Enjoy your food, gentlemen,” Michael said with a nod before leaving them alone again.

They started eating and Harry had to hold back a moan, “Damn, this food is amazing!”, he praised.

“Yes, definitely. I love the food here. I came here first for a business meeting and I just fell in love with the kitchen,” Louis smiled, “I’m so glad you like it too. Where do you like to go usually? –”

And with that they completely forgot about the explanations, the Secret Santa and the hows and whys of tonight and fell into comfortable conversation for the rest of the dinner.

They talked about anything under the moon. From their favourite films, to their school friends, over their favourite music and their worst travels.

The pair clicked like they had never clicked with anyone before and both of them felt a sense of comfort and happiness throughout the whole evening.

They just couldn’t stop talking and looked for reasons to prolong the night, starting with a second bottle of wine, then dessert and lastly a scotch for Louis and a Sex on the Beach for Harry.

By the time they finished their drinks, the restaurant was noticeably emptier, and they were very much tipsy to the point where they had trouble to stop giggling and grinning at each other with slowly growing heart eyes. (If Harry was sober, he would die of embarrassment. But Louis was not an ounce better, so it was okay).

When their waiter came around and let them know they had to start closing up the restaurant, both of them apologised profusely and hurried to get out to not hinder the employees of finishing up for tonight.

Outside of the restaurant, Harry took a look at hi watch and gasped when he saw that it was already 11:30pm. They had been talking nonstop for 3 ½ hours after Harry’s initial shock.

It felt like 10 minutes.

“Lou, look! It’s almost midnight,” Harry giggled.

“No, you’re joking!”

But when the other man checked for himself, he giggled as well.

“Wow, this barely felt like half an hour. This was so so much fun, Harry,” Louis told him while looking at him with gentle eyes.

And, fuck it.

“D-do you maybe wanna go for a walk? I’m really really not tired and I really don’t want the night to end, if I’m honest,” Harry mumbled, now feeling the nerves again without the drinks and food as safety nets.

But his nerves were completely unfounded, when Louis’ face lit up like a thousand stars, “Yes! Yes, I would love to! I know a really nice park just a few minutes away from here, let’s go there!”

Harry nodded happily and fell into step next to the shorter man. They walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, until they reached the entrance to the park.

Due to the fact that it was the week before Christmas and also almost midnight, the park was completely empty, and they were the only souls out and about.

This thought made Harry weirdly happy, so he let out a tiny laugh.

“What’s so funny, darling?”, Louis asked with a new pet name rolling off his tongue easily. Harry preened, always having been a sucker for being called cheesy names.

“I’m just so happy. Am I dreaming?”, Harry told him, with his dimple finally making an appearance.

Louis’ own smile widened, “I never noticed you have a dimple, that’s beautiful… You are beautiful,” the other man said, couldn’t stop himself from reaching up and poking cheek.

Immediately, Harry’s blush was back deeper and hotter than the whole evening.

This definitely was a dream.

“Yeah, I am dreaming,” he mumbled while trying to hide his face with his hands.”

“I promise you’re not.”

“But how is this all real?”

“I told you I’ve been wanting to ask you out for the longest time, and when I got closer with the boys I finally felt like getting somewhere, but I was still scared you would have someone at home because you’re you and you having someone who loves and protects you is the most obvious thing in the world, but then the others told me –“, Louis tried to explain again, when Harry suddenly stopped walking all together.

“Hold on! What about _your_ boyfriend?”, Harry started breathing heavily.

No, no, no.

He fucking knew it was to good to be true.

Louis stood two steps behind him looking confused as ever.

“What boyfriend?”

“Your boyfriend!”

“I don’t have one?”, Louis asked as if he wasn’t sure.

“But the picture in your office!”, Harry said raising his voice due to confusion. And hurt?

“Wha – what picture? Harry, love, please calm down,” Louis tried to reason with the younger boy who was looking near tears by now.

“O-on your desk, t-there is a photo of y-you holding someone? A dark haired man? You both l-look so happy, I –“, Harry stammered nervously, trying to keep his calm.

“I’m – I… Oh my god. No. Love,” he suddenly let out a loud breath and laughed, “Babe, this is not my boyfriend. This is Zayn, my best mate since we were in diapers. This picture was taken in the morning before our Uni graduation. We look this happy because we somehow survived these four years of hell. And it was just another milestone we achieved together. I promise you, I love Zayn, but not like _this_. He’s literally like a brother for me,” Louis explained with a small smile.

And what?

Oh my _god._

“Oh my god. I’m so stupid,” Harry whispered, hiding his face again.

The older man laughed gently and walked the two steps to Harry and gently pried his hands off his face. “You’re not. I can see how someone could think we’re a thing since we’re so close and comfortable with each other, but this is just because we’ve known each other for 25 years by now.”

Harry looked up into the beautiful blue eyes. He now gave a tiny smile of his own, before daring to step a little closer to the other man.

“This is very reassuring, if I’m honest,” Harry smiled wider at him, seeing how Louis’ eyes light up.

“Yeah? I am very glad to hear this,” Louis said, slipping back into the flirty-teasing tone he had acquired during their dinner. However, he suddenly looked confused again. “But wait, how do you know what photos are on my desk? I don’t think we have ever been in my office?”

Harry blushed again.

“Oh yeah, uhm, I might had you for Secret Santa?”, Harry said quietly.

Louis giggled.

“Are you serious? This beautiful, soft gift was from _you_? Why hadn’t I thought of this before? It had to be _you_. Only you could make such a thoughtful present, fitting for someone even if it’s just a random colleague,” Louis smiled so softly at him, Harry blushed _again_.

“So-so you like it?”, Harry checked.

Louis was so close to him now that they shared a breath. It seemed like he couldn’t keep himself from touching the younger boy anymore and put his hands gently on Harry’s cheeks. Harry immediately leaned into him, enjoying this dream as long as it stayed.

“Liked it? I loved it, H! All of these little parts were so thoughtfully picked out and it was like the person who put them together really knew me! Not many people in the office know my obsession with cinnamon rolls, but I was _delighted_ to see the candle. It’s been burning in my living room every night since I got the package and I love the smell so much!”, he told him enthusiastically.

Harry’s own smile broke out brighter and happier than it had been the whole night.

“Oh, I’m so happy you liked it. I was so nervous when I got your name because I wanted to impress you, but I was too scared to put my name on the card,” the curly haired man admitted.

“You wanted to impress me?”, Louis required with a cheeky smile.

Harry couldn’t keep himself from touching as well and also wanted to hide face, so he quickly darted forwards and his face in Louis’ neck. Apparently extremely happy about the progress, Louis put his arms around Harry’s waist, holding him gently.

“I may or not may had a crush on you for quite a while,” he mumbled with his lips close to Louis’ skin. The older man shivered a bit and immediately pulled Harry closer.

“You have?”

“Mhh.”

“And Liam and Niall haven’t told me this, little fuckers,” he grumbled.

“Well, they haven’t told that you all were besties either,” Harry grumbled back.

Both of them immediately started giggling.

“Well at least they helped with tonight,” Louis gave them this.

“Yeah, that’s true. And I am so very glad,” Harry said.

They were still holding each other after Harry had moved his arms around Louis’ shoulders. And just liked their hands earlier in the restaurant, their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. This pleased Harry to no end.

“We fit,” he couldn’t stop himself from saying out loud.

“Yeah, we do. We really do, love,” Louis agreed without a hitch.

“Hey Lou?”

“Yes, darling?”

“Do you believe in fate?”, Harry asked while pulling his back and looking into the other man’s eyes again. His face was probably sparkling with hope and happiness, he had always been a sappy shit.

“Yeah, I was always a big believer in fate.”

“Me too,” Harry’s smile kept growing. He felt like his face was about to break with the sheer force of his happiness. He really couldn’t believe this was _real_.

“Shall we keep walking, or are you cold?”, Louis asked.

“Can I be honest?”

“Yes, of course.”

“I don’t want the night to end,” the green-eyed boy said shyly.

“That’s perfect because neither do I. I know this is not what people do on their first date , but this night has been different than anything what is considered ‘normal’, sooo do you want to come over and watch a movie? It’s late, but as far as I know we’re all off tomorrow?”, Louis asked with a crooked smile and a hopeful look to his eyes.

“A date?”, Harry checked, still not fully believing he’s awake.

“Yes, of course. If you want, that is?”

“Oh yes, I definitely want,” Harry said with the first cheeky remark of the night and Louis immediately lit up again, “And I would love to watch a movie with you even if we would have work in the morning. I tell you a secret; I enjoyed this too much to even think of work.”

“Brilliant. Let’s go. We’re not far,” Louis gave back and grabbed Harry’s hand like he did it a thousand times before.

Harry did not mind at all.

Barely ten minutes later, the pair entered Louis’ loft and Harry was speechless. It was so spacious and beautiful. Floor to ceiling windows showed a stunning view of London and the open floor plan made it feel airy and free. Harry loved it.

Completely in awe of the beautiful sight, he pulled off his coat and draped it over the back of the sofa on his way to the windows. In the back of his mind he registered that Louis kept the light off, so Harry was able to see better but he was so focused on the view that he missed how Louis lit up some candles, filled up to glasses with wine and stepped next to him after.

“Beautiful,” the younger boy breathed.

“Yes, the prettiest, indeed,” when Harry turned his head slightly, he found Louis not looking at the skyline but rather at Harry himself.

And there it was again. The blush.

He grabbed for the wine glass and took a healthy sip, to take Louis’ focus off his blush.

He didn’t even know how to answer, he was just bashfully smiling at the floor.

“I know what you think, Haz, and I want to have the chance to make you see yourself like I see you,” he said gently.

“I-I uhm how. Everyone makes fun of me for my hair and my clothes at work, and the glasses and I _know_ they talk, and you must have heard it too,” Harry mumbled, back to his insecurities.

“I couldn’t care less what these stuck-up leeches think, love, and so should you. I for one _love_ your curlies and I was _so_ gone when you came into work with your hair all open and fluffy on that Monday. I know the day was a bad one, but I never loved your hair more and the fact that I’m allowed to have this during our first date makes me even happier,” he stopped to place his glass on the side table of the sofa to have his hands free to touch Harry’s hair gently, curling some locks around his fingers softly. Harry closed his eyes and swayed closer.

“And your work clothes aren’t bad either, I like how you wear different things than those suit and tie assholes, it’s enough that Liam and me have to go for this look. I find your cardigans rather cosy and cute. But tonight, let me tell you, I almost fell off my chair when I saw this gorgeous blouse and the jeans, god Harry do you have any idea how fucking pretty and _hot_ you look? And the rings? They just make you sparkle like the star you are,” Louis was now back in Harry’s space completely again and Harry tried to make one coherent thought.

“I- I’m uhm thank you?”, he whispered with his eyes still closed, “Y-you are more beautiful though.”

“Oh please, extend on this matter,” Louis cheekily said with a hint of his lawyer jargon, all while moving his hands to Harry’s waist again. This seemed to become his favourite place to put his hands quickly and Harry was not complaining at all.

Harry was also tipsy enough to not feel any shame in answering this question, “Well, my favourite thing in the world are your eyes. The shade of blue is my favourite colour and if I wasn’t making a living of calculating all day long, I would definitely write sonnets about it. Your smile is so sweet and pretty, but when you laugh like really hard and your eyes crinkle all cutely? It’s just happiness at its finest and I hope I have the pleasure to see more if it in the future. And I really _really_ like your hair, it’s so soft and fluffy and I just wanna play with it especially when you have it down in a fringe. But if you have the quiff and you wear one of your fitted suits, I just want you to wreck –“, Harry’s eyes suddenly flew open in shock and he jumped out of Louis’ arms.

Louis looked startled for a moment before he started laughing with delight and the most teasing glint to his eyes, “Oh oh oh Mr Styles, I am flattered but I don’t put out on date number one,” he winked at the blushing boy.

“I – I uhm I’m.”

“But this can be arranged after date number 3 or whenever you feel ready, I promise, my dear darling,” Louis dropped the 45th bomb on Harry tonight alone.

“I – need to sit down, I think?”, Harry tried to calm down also for the 45th time tonight.

Louis took Harry’s hand gently and lead him over to the big cosy deep red sofa, where Harry sank down in the cushions, relieved to not have to hold himself up anymore. He curled on himself and hid his face in his hands.

“Harry, are you alright? I feel flattered, sweetheart. Please don’t be embarrassed. I actually _enjoy_ knowing the both of us are seemingly this gone for _each other._ This is the best Christmas present anyone could ever give to me and to think of the fact that a silly Secret Santa at work kicked off our history with each other will be a bloody great story to tell the grandkids,” Louis murmured in Harry’s ears, making him smile and the erupt into happy giggles.

“Grandchildren? Now who’s the forward one, Mr Tomlinson?”, Harry replied looking back into blue blue eyes and seeing happiness and so much fond already. He probably most definitely did not look any different.

Now Louis was the one blushing, but other than Harry, he embraced it and used their close proximity to poke Harry’s dimples again.

Harry shrieked and curled into himself again, but he also leaned into Louis’ side almost as if he had done this forever. Louis welcomed him with open arms and pulled him in again.

“So, we’re both big on cuddles?”, Louis said right into Harry’s hair.

Harry just nodded and snuggled further into the other men.

“I usually don’t cuddle on the first date, but for cute lawyers with pretty eyes I gladly make an exception,” he giggled.

“Well, then I hit the jackpot, lucky me,” Louis answered and started to play with Harry’s hair again.

They stayed like this for a moment in complete silence, both of them still trying to realise that this was reality. Harry suddenly felt a warmth he never felt before blooming in his tummy and he looked up to Louis and touch his cheek gently, “This is definitely my favourite Christmas ever,” he said.

Louis’ own smile grew, “Couldn’t agree more. So, how about that movie then? And movie is code for more cuddles even though it’s super late now, so I wouldn’t be mad if you rather went home.”

“Movie, please,” Harry immediately responded.

The pair settled on _Love Actually_ since they had found out they both loved the movie during their dinner, and it was also fitting there very Christmassy mood.

Before they snuggled under a fuzzy blanket, Louis popped to the loo and when he made his way back, Harry peeked a glimpse at some very familiar sparkly blue fuzzy socks which made him smile bigger than anything else. Louis dropped back on the sofa next to him and dropped a pair of pink fuzzy socks into the younger boy’s lap. “Thought you may wanted some cute socks too,” Louis winked at him.

“Thanks, Lou,” he said and immediately put them on before cuddling up into Louis’ side and lied his head on Louis’ jumper clad chest. The older man put his arm around Harry’s waist, holding him protectively during the whole movie.

After the movie ended, both boys were barely awake due to feeling warm and fuzzy and full of happiness. Harry really wanted to just sleep here in this wonderful man’s arms, but he knew this was definitely several steps too fast.

But it was just their first date and Louis _promised_ him more. This was his reality now and despite all of his nerves and the ever present anxiety this whole night gave Harry a kind of hope and secure feeling he never thought he could feel when it came to other people that didn’t belong to his family.

The 26-year old looked up from his spot on Louis’ chest and saw that the other boy was seconds away from falling asleep. He looked so peaceful and happy. Harry’s heart made a happy little jump.

He sat up slowly and stroked Louis’ cheek until he opened his eyes again. Upon finding Harry’s, he immediately smiled fondly.

“I should go, Lou. It’s so late and I will just sleep on you if I don’t leave,” he admitted with a small smile.

“You could stay over, but I also want to do this thing right, so you’re right,” Louis said and got up from the sofa, pulling Harry up with himself, “But please, please keep me updated and text me as soon as you’re safely home,” he continued with a worried aura surrounding him, pulling his phone from his jeans and working on putting Harry’s number in there.

“If you wanted my number, all you had to do was ask,” Harry said cheekily.

“I want your number of course, but I’m serious, Haz. It’s late and it’s London.”

“I know and I find it very cute that you worry about me. Would you feel better, if I took a taxi?”, Harry asked.

Louis nodded enthusiastically and immediately called for one.

“Taxi’s here in 20.”

“Thank you, love,” Harry said, adding the pet name without even realising.

Harry picked up his discarded coat from the loveseat and put it on before they walked over to the front door.

“Soooo,” Harry stood there with his hands behind his back.

“Soooooooo,” Louis mirrored him with a small smile.

Harry rolled his eyes fondly, “Thank you for this incredible night. I still don’t know whether I’m dreaming –”

“I told you not a dream,” Louis interrupted him.

“—but this night was one of the most unexpected but wonderful I have ever experienced and I really really hope one of my Christmas wishes will come true.”

“What’s that then, love?”

“I can’t tell you because then it won’t come true,” Harry said with a wink.

“Heeey, that’s rude. C’mon tell me,” Louis pouted.

Harry acted like pondered it for several seconds, before stepping into Louis’ space again and put his mouth close to his ear, “I wished for our second date to be on the weekend because I have trouble leaving now and I really really want to see you again as soon as possible.”

Louis shivered and laughed happily, “Oh, it can definitely be arranged for this wish to come true. Consider it done,” the older man pulled Harry closer for like the 30th time tonight and Harry was loving it more every single time.

“Well, thank you Santa,” Harry giggled happily, “And what about you? Any wishes you want to get off your chest?”

Louis stilled and swallowed hardly, “There is something, indeed.”

“And what would that be?”, Harry asked quietly feeling the instant mood change to something more serious but also intimate. He shuffled a bit feeling his nerves bubble up again.

Louis coughed once and put his mouth to Harry’s ear this time, “I wish to kiss the pretty green-eyed boy that has killer legs and also a killer talent at snuggling.”

Harry’s breath caught in his throat and another blush painted his cheeks a deep red.

“Y-you do?”

“I most definitely do.”

Harry really had to pinch himself. This night was _too good_ to be true. But his dreams never were this _good,_ so he was just going for it.

_Oh, the magic of Christmas._

“Well, lucky you, because I know from an _exceptionally_ secure source that the green-eyed boy would love for you to kiss him,” he whispered, feeling butterflies erupt all over his stomach.

“Luckiest me, indeed,” Louis murmured back before taking Harry’s face in his hands again.

He looked deeply into Harry’s eyes, seemingly looking for any kind of apprehension but what he saw must gave him the last bit of courage. And Harry was definitely nowhere _near_ apprehensive.

Quite the opposite.

He didn’t think he ever wanted something more than this right this second.

Louis stroked his thumb over Harry’s cheek softly before closing the last tiny bit of distance between them and pressed his lips softly to Harry’s cherry ones. Harry literally melted into the kiss and sighed contently. He shuffled even closer to Louis in the same second as Louis pulled him even closer. The older boy’s hands made their way back to their new favourite spot which gave Harry the space to put his own arms around Louis’ neck.

The soft presses quickly turned into something deeper and more meaningful. Harry couldn’t stop himself from opening his mouth on a tiny sigh and Louis did not waste any time in slipping his tongue into Harry’s soft warm mouth.

Upon the change of pace both their breaths quicken and for the first time in forever it was a good change for Harry. He let himself fall into the feeling of warmth, security, care, gentleness and _affection_. It was the best kiss he ever had, and he never wanted it to end.

But unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end, and so their kiss was interrupted by the taxi honking from outside. The two men broke apart and breathed heavily, while pressing their foreheads together for a second, both not ready to leave this special closeness so suddenly.

Harry couldn’t think. Everything was colourful and loud and bubbly, and he didn’t know how to calm down. But this time in the best way possible.

“This was – wow,” the younger boy mumbled with a small giggle.

“Couldn’t have worded that better, sweetheart,” Louis agreed and started pressing gentle pecks on Harry’s lips again, “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.”

“I think I get it.”

The kisses were about to get deeper again, when the taxi made himself known for the second time.

“I – I, Lou, I need to go,” Harry reluctantly mumbled against Louis’ lips.

“Mh?”, Louis pressed one last kiss to Harry’s lips, “Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, you should.”

“Saturday is in two days.”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“Can I see you then?”

“Is that even a question? Of course. I was planning on spending the whole day with you,” Louis said matter of factly.

Harry beamed at him. _Best news ever._

“Oh, Santa is spoiling me this year,” he laughed.

“’s what you deserve.”

Harry opened the front door and turned around one last time, “Thank you for this. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”

Louis beamed back at him with the same expression of happiness and Harry’s tummy did a happy somersault.

“It was my pleasure. And also, same, darling, same.”

Before Harry walked out the door, he darted back to Louis one last time and pressed a quick, hard yet soft kiss onto the older boy’s lips, making him gasp with happy surprise.

“Can’t wait for Saturday. Good night, Lou,” he called on his way out.

Before he turned around the corner, he heard a soft spoken, “Me neither, babe, me neither.”

Harry couldn’t believe how his night turned out and he would definitely need at least two days and three cups of coffee with Niall and Liam before he could even begin to understand what just happened, but he never felt happier or closer to falling into something so beautiful than in this moment.

Christmas declared itself to be the best time of the year for Harry yet again and he would never ever say one bad word about Secret Santas.

When he finally got into the taxi, he looked back up to Louis’ flat and he saw his crush, date, possible soon to be boyfriend _?_ standing at his window making sure Harry made it safely to the vehicle. Knowing that Louis was this protective already, made him feel even giddier and more happy.

He was about to burst with happiness at this point and he didn’t know it could feel this good. When the taxi pulled away from the curb, Harry waved up to Louis and the other man seemed to feel it even though it was pitch black outside and waved back.

Halfway back home, Harry’s phone vibrated in his coat pocket.

He pulled it out and softened when he saw the new text message he just received.

**Lou** **♥** **[2:46am]**

_Secret Santa has to be the first family tradition, I don’t take any arguments. Xx_

With a bright, joyful laugh he texted back his affirmation.

Yes, this year’s Christmas was his most favourite of all time.

Harry was happy and probably, most definitely halfway in love.

_Thank you, Santa._

**The End.**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!♥
> 
> If you enjoyed it, please leave a kudo or comment down below, it would make my day! :)


End file.
